by Courtney Swift
Kettleers Lead Writer
June 13, 2012
MARSTONS MILLS – The Cotuit Kettleers hosted their annual Welcome Picnic Wednesday, June 13. Each year the organization meets before opening day to meet new players, interns, and supportive families. This year was no different, bringing close to 250 people for the potluck and most favorite event, player skits.
This year the team split into ten groups to provide the entertainment for the evening. Dusty Isaacs (Georgia Tech), Jacob May (Coastal Carolina), Ryan Connolly (Coastal Carolina) and Brandon Bixler (Florida Gulf Coast) started off the evening teaching picnic goers about what not to do when you hit a home run.
The next skit stepped away from baseball to the sport of ping-pong. Jordan Hagel (Maryland), and Galli Cribbs Jr. (San Jacinto College) faced off for the final point in the make believe 1942 Ping Pong Olympics while teammate Tim Kiene (Maryland) refereed the skit. Hagel won the ping-pong Olympics.
And then the music started to play. Skit three began with some “Cali Swag” beats as California boys James Roberts (USC) and Jacob Valdez (San Jose State) tried to teach their teammates “Cali 101.” They began with the language showing Kyle Finnegan (Texas State) and Alex Johnson (Miami of Ohio) that the proper way to speak in California is by using the words swag, hella, bro, and sick. Other “Cali 101” topics included what to wear, how to say hello and goodbye and how to dance. By the end, Finnegan and Johnson ditched their winter gear for board shorts, tanks, sunglasses, and most importantly the G-Shock watch. Swag.
The next skit poked a little fun at assistant coach Sarah Money. Justin Glass (Univ. of Cincinnati), James Mannara (Florida Tech), Cameron Griffin (Stetson) and Adam Nelubowich (Washington St.) practiced Money’s practice workouts for the crowd showing the difficult “world’s greatest stretch.” By the end of the skit the had worked their glutes to perfect their “money makers.”
Other skits continued with the baseball theme. Derek Smith (Univ. Pitt Bradford), Billy Bereszniewicz (Binghamton University) and Patrick Biondi (Michigan) practiced their base running by dancing to Jump on It with their skit, “Base running 101.” Later Jordan Ramsey (UNC Wilmington), Mike Ford (Princeton), and James Mannara (Florida Tech) reenacted the meltdown of Braves minor league coach Phil Wellman when he got thrown out of a game in 2007. To see the original meltdown, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGZUKHtW7vg
Jacob Stone (Weatherford JC), Aramis Garcia (Florida International) and John-Austin Shepard (Tusculum College) showed their moves by dancing to the YMCA in their skit. Later Adam McCreery (Arizona State) judged the final round of “The Cotuit Spelling Bee” between Tim Mayza (Millersville Univ. of Pennsylvania) and John Healy (Saint Anslem). Both contestants spelled their first words correctly, but it was Healy who won the Bee with his spelling of the word adversity. Dan Slania showed his talents in juggling baseballs, and then a baseball, football and basketball. But that was too easy, so he then juggled three basketballs. Slania said he wanted to juggle knives, but Coach Roberts may not have approved.
The night wouldn’t have been complete without the coaches getting involved. They dressed up as The Village People and got the kids involved dancing to the YMCA. And last but not least, came the finale. Players have never done a finale skit, but wowed the crowd with their dancing. Players came out together dancing to Single Ladies by Beyoncé, Feeling Good by Michael Bublé and ending the night showing off their moves to the summer’s most popular song, Call Me Maybe, by Carly Rae Jepson.